Boat sales skyrocket

Every time it rains a lot, the city shuts down. Road closings, the trains stop, subways come to a halt, buses change routes, floods, power outages, looting, murders, UTTER CHAOS! OK, well the last two are exaggerations, but the rest are true. Yesterday it rained. And flooded. And the city shut down, again, second time in one week.

Here are some of the top headlines:
Palermo bajo agua - Palermo Under Water
Cruzan Santa Fe con sogas - Crossing Santa Fe (Avenue) with rope
La Ciudad vuelve a inundarse - The City Floods, again
Caos en la ciudad - Chaos in the City
La Ciudad en emergencia - The City In Emergency

All pics from Clarin.com

Who needs to go to the Wisconsin Dells to ride the Lazy River???

Which one would you buy?

Hmm tough choice, AR$226.75 (US$60, and more than I make in a week) bottle of Grey Goose or a AR$12.45 (US$3) bottle of Argentina's finest Hiram Walker vodka. WTF, why do imported items have to be so damn expensive?!

La Cocina the off-off broadway play by George Costanza

This is an advertisement for an Argentine play called La Cocina that I came across while walking to the bus- probably only crazy obsessed Seinfeld fans will get this reference. Yes, I know almost every word and used to write for a Seinfeld newsletter when I was 11 years old, I was in charge of the trivia section and I am damn proud of it.

President Cristina found a solution to her sexual problems

The clown makeup wearing, risque dressing Argentine president, Cristina Kirchner, recently gave a speech trying to promote the pork industry and to add to the stereotype that she be a ho'. According to Cristina, the other white meat contains properties that not only increase sexual activity, but has the similar effect of Viagra. Watch her speech, with subtitles in English... Pay attention to the level of male excitement in the audience. Awesome.

I have nightmares about this blue man...

This is the creepiest subway advertisement eva... "If you have frequent heartburn, even when the subway is empty, you'll still be uncomfortable." The way he crosses his legs makes ME uncomfortable...

More of the top news stories of the day at Cronica TV...

La ciudad fue un horno (The city was an oven, literal translation) is a segment that Cronica TV has been playing during the summertime. Generally every night, similar footage is shown to investigate the newsworthy activity that is going on at various beaches...



For all you convicted sex-offenders out there, I think you have found the perfect job as a cameraman for Cronica.

Buenos Aires Playa

With temperatures reaching 97 degrees, where can locals go to escape the city heat? Despite a common misconception, BA is not on the ocean. Instead, it shares a cost line with the pollution-filled, sparkling doodie brown, Rio de la Plata.
The government created a place where porteños can pretend to relax at the beach, an artificial beach. Buenos Aires Playa (Buenos Aires Beach), is filled with an awkwardly placed strip of sand, lawn chairs, and a view of the dirty river.. seems like the perfect weekend, right?

You know you love the Jonas Brothers....

Here is a Personal (cell phone company) commercial promoting downloading those pop songs that you secretly love...

Pork Liver & Vegetable Cereal, YUM!

Look Alike Game

Even if you have no idea who this famous Argentine is (Carlos Bianchi, manager of Boca Jr fútbol team) you cannot ignore the fact that he looks exactly like the brilliant Larry David.

Che, Boludo!

Boludo/a is one of those wonderful words in Argentine Spanish that just does not have an English translation to give the meaning justice. The word signifies many different things, sometimes possessing a derogatory connotation, other times used in an affectionate banter among friends (for more decent definitions, check out urbandictionary. The word can be used as a noun, verb, adjective or all of the above to mean:

1. Dumbass: "That boluda joined the Sarah Palin is my hero group on facebook"
2. Dude: "Boludo, what did you do last night?"
3. Fuckin' around (not in a sexual manner): I spent all day boludeando (deriving from the verb, boludear) on wikipedia.
4. Douchebag: What a boludo, has a big tattoo that says "AWSOME" across his forearm
Best to watch this commercial entitled "Qué Bolu (abbreviation)" that perfectly embodies the meaning of the word boludo.

Coolest couple in the world

I'd rent an apartment from them any day.

Monkey Island fictitious "Grog" drink believed to be actually consumed by teenagers

Every morning before work, I turn on C5N channel not for the quality of the news, but for the ridiculousness. The segments tend to include:
1. Fútbol players, especially Maradona and Messi
2. Strikes and Protests
3. Traffic problems because of the strikes and protests
4. Dr. Cormillot (more to come later about my favorite TV docta)
5. "Investigative" segment with the same footage on repeat (played about 5 times in 2 hours)

This particular segment struck me as a bit silly... the journalist is describing a new drink that many teens make to get very drunk before going out. This drink is called "Grog XD" and may sound familiar to any Monkey Island video game fans...Ingredients in the Trago (mixed drink) Grog XD that argie pibes (teens) are supposedly guzzling down:
-Kerosene, Artificial Sweeteners, Sulfuric Acid, Rum with acetone, Red Dye #2, Axel grease and battery acid.

Ginobili Gets Rabies Shot For Swatting A Bat

Creamfields Suspended, Posters still up.

Despite the fact that Creamfields was indeed canceled, the posters are still all over the city advertising the event.