Look Alike Game

Even if you have no idea who this famous Argentine is (Carlos Bianchi, manager of Boca Jr fútbol team) you cannot ignore the fact that he looks exactly like the brilliant Larry David.

Che, Boludo!

Boludo/a is one of those wonderful words in Argentine Spanish that just does not have an English translation to give the meaning justice. The word signifies many different things, sometimes possessing a derogatory connotation, other times used in an affectionate banter among friends (for more decent definitions, check out urbandictionary. The word can be used as a noun, verb, adjective or all of the above to mean:

1. Dumbass: "That boluda joined the Sarah Palin is my hero group on facebook"
2. Dude: "Boludo, what did you do last night?"
3. Fuckin' around (not in a sexual manner): I spent all day boludeando (deriving from the verb, boludear) on wikipedia.
4. Douchebag: What a boludo, has a big tattoo that says "AWSOME" across his forearm
Best to watch this commercial entitled "Qué Bolu (abbreviation)" that perfectly embodies the meaning of the word boludo.

Coolest couple in the world

I'd rent an apartment from them any day.

Monkey Island fictitious "Grog" drink believed to be actually consumed by teenagers

Every morning before work, I turn on C5N channel not for the quality of the news, but for the ridiculousness. The segments tend to include:
1. Fútbol players, especially Maradona and Messi
2. Strikes and Protests
3. Traffic problems because of the strikes and protests
4. Dr. Cormillot (more to come later about my favorite TV docta)
5. "Investigative" segment with the same footage on repeat (played about 5 times in 2 hours)

This particular segment struck me as a bit silly... the journalist is describing a new drink that many teens make to get very drunk before going out. This drink is called "Grog XD" and may sound familiar to any Monkey Island video game fans...Ingredients in the Trago (mixed drink) Grog XD that argie pibes (teens) are supposedly guzzling down:
-Kerosene, Artificial Sweeteners, Sulfuric Acid, Rum with acetone, Red Dye #2, Axel grease and battery acid.

Ginobili Gets Rabies Shot For Swatting A Bat

Creamfields Suspended, Posters still up.

Despite the fact that Creamfields was indeed canceled, the posters are still all over the city advertising the event.

Creamfields 2009?

For those who have never heard of it, Creamfields is a huge music festival that started in the UK and has now grown to be a yearly festival in more than 10 countries. Creamfields began in BA nine years ago, and has become the event of the year for over 50,000 lovers of electronic music. They dance all day/all night long and watch world renown DJs work their magic. However, Electronic/techno/trance has never been my thing. For some reason, I've always associated it with tight shirt - sunglass inside/at night - wearing, pill popping, euro-trash. But after living in BA, this music is nearly impossible to avoid, since it is played at the majority of the clubs. So against my will, I have grown to tolerate it.Creamfields was supposed to take place this Saturday, November 7th in Palermo. Tickets have been sold to over 40,000 people, and international DJs have been booked -- not to mention the excitement of thousands of fans in anticipation of this rapidly approaching day. However, the one thing that organizers forgot to do is obtain a permit from the government (Waynes World all over again!). But unlike Waynestock, the local government is not going to allow the festival to take place this Saturday. How can this be the biggest electronic music festival in the world, and a week before the event there is still doubt whether it will take place? Worst of all, the organizers of Creamfields, who have thus far made millions of dollars in ticket sales, have yet to make any statements. They haven't updated their website, and they haven't given the anxious ticket holders any information. Facebook groups instantly popped up with thousands of ravers wearing stupid emo haircuts - denouncing the government, but not the organizers. They are calling for a protest at the Obelisco, one of the most famous monuments in the center of the downtown area. I bet the cast of characters at this demonstration will be 100 times more entertaining than the actual festival...
"In case that on Monday we have the worst news, Sat, November 7 everyone is invited to the Obelisco! Friends of Creamfields, we are going to protest for our rights....Please the only thing I ask is that you are not violent verbally or physically, we are all united for the same reason because we are peaceful people"

Foto, Foto, Foto, Foto!

The commercial above was on the air a few years ago for Personal, a cell phone company that was promoting a new camera phone. One thing that many people do not know about Argentina is that they have some of the funniest commercials around. It's a sort of self-deprecating type humor that pokes fun of the culture by using hilariously ridiculous characters and sillyass music.

"All Girls Look Good From A Far" If a FCC-type organization existed in Argentina (never gunna happen) it would be the richest org around... people would flip their shit if commercials on network television showed bare ass dental flossed thongs with heaping spoonfuls of political incorrectness. What quality entertainment!

"The Hit of the Summer"

Update: Rich complainers prevail!

Last week I wrote an entry about the time change fiasco... here are some updated:

• The time didn't change! At the last minute, they called it off.
• There was no coverage on the time change - there was coverage on fútbol, Miss Plastic Surgery 2009, and segments how ketchup has less calories than mayonnaise.
  
• The main newspaper's current time had been changed reflecting day light savings time, as did timeanddate.com and a few other online publications while the "news" stations (yes, I always put that word here in quotes) did have the correct non-changed time.
  

I guess what shocked me the most is that no one seemed to give a shit about the debate... no one really seemed to know the correct time, nor did they really care to investigate more to figure it out. I don't know why I find this topic so interesting... I could over analyze and go into a long explanation how this is a prime example of the difference between a North American's perception of time and an Argentine... where I come from, time and punctuality is very important - here it is non existant. Basically, argentime = you can be an hour late for something and blame it on the culture.

I found a brief explanation here on momento24.com

I have to fill a prescription, could you run to Poison Pharmacy and pick me up my meds?

Names and signs written in Spanish are instantly funny to me. It is even funnier when the names are copied from English, with the meaning either lost in translation, or just doesn't make any sense whatsoever. To me, the absolute best is when the name is copied in English, but completely inappropriate for the store/product that is being advertised.

Proyecto Cartele, or Project Signs, is a website devoted to graffiti and signs that just make you laugh and wonder - who were the geniuses who came up with this?

Day light savings time? No thanks.

Controversy has erupted among some of the provinces in Argentina - whether or not to change the clocks on October 18 for daylight savings time. It was my understanding that in spring many countries choose to move the clocks ahead not only to take advantage of long sun-filled days to perfect their tans, but it conserves a fair amount of energy.

Apparently, some of the local provincial governments - pressured by the gastronomical industry - decided that changing the clocks one hour would negatively harm the economy... according to the anti-time changing committee, people will spend too much time outdoors during the day which will cause the food and nightlife industry to suffer (even though prime restaurant time doesn't peak until 10:30pm, and bars even later). So, basically, a group of rich restaurant owners don't want the rest of the whole Argentine Republic to enjoy an extra hour of daylight because they would lose a couple pesos, and the government listens.

The provinces of Mendoza, Santa Fe, Catamarca, Salta, Chubut, Neuquén and San Luis all decided against the change - imagine it is 7:00 in New York and Illinois and 8:00 in Wisconsin and California...

Kitties don't like to be walked

This cute little kitty needs to take a xanax or paxil or something because she was TREMBLING the moment she saw daylight.

Dashi Sushi

One of the better Japanese restaurants is Dashi - they have about 6 locations in the city that all offer delivery. Dashi is a bit more pricey than most Japanese restaurants, but the fish is good quality. We ordered the other night and for some reason it was just ehh - 1 combinada of all salmon plus an extra roll (Ichiban) that had crab, shrimp, cucumber wrapped in salmon and caviar... sounds tasty but the roll itself costs around 43 pesos and had a soury taste to it.. this whole box set us back 100 pesos. We both agreed to take a break to take a break from sushi for a while....

Argentine Diet: Panchos y Hamburguesas

And they say that Americans eat food that is bad for you....My favorite Argentine stuffed his face with 2 hamburgers with cheese and 2 hot dogs.

Maybe they should consider a new logo?

Chinese restaurants don't have the best reputation when it comes the type of meat they choose to use. This restaurant's logo doesn't help break that stereotype...

The Hunt For Good Sushi Continues...

In the past few years, Sushi in Buenos Aires has become a recent trend. In a country defined by their meat, when I first arrive in 2006 it was quite difficult to find variety and utterly impossible to find reasonably priced ethnic food (I'll have to write another entry on this!). Not to make a huge generalization about an entire culture, but the locals I had come into contact were willing to scarf down parts of a cow that I did not know were legal to eat, while at the same time considered raw fish to be a huge asco (disgusting).

Good roll memory in Lima, Peru

Times have changed. The demand for this fashionable food has increased as have the number of Sushi and Japanese "style" (note the quotes) restaurants. In my experience, the majority of the sushi (rolls, sashimi, niguiri) are inediblely abismal. In short, it's a copy of the US/Western world's copy of traditional Japanese - lots of imitation crab, canned tuna, hacked fishy tasting salmon, and philadelphia cream cheese galore - all at prices that would be expensive for US standards (if you don't know, BA is CHEAP as hell if you have dollas).
As an avid admirer of Japanese food, I have embarked on the difficult journey of finding tasty sushi without spending half of my peso paycheck on one dinner. I was really looking forward to trying this place near my new apartment called Shiru, I read about it on guiaoleo.com, and all 8 reviewers gave in good marks (the fact there were only 8 should have been a red flag).
The good thing about this place is you can order half rolls, so instead of flushing my money on 30 peso rolls, I could order more variety for the same non-bargain...I ordered a combo of salmon sashimi and nigiri (ehh) and some rolls containing "tempura shrimp" (I put this in quote bc the tempura was like bread dropped in the sink - I know, you are shuddering at the thought - and the shrimp had the veins still hanging by a thread).

Much better than my last experience at PequeñoSan, the quaint Recoleta café turned sushi restaurant only at night with partially cooked rice... but for the 30 pieces of not so great quality at AR$85, I think I will keep trying until I find a hit.

Jalá!

I am very proud of my jalot (challahs) that I made for Rosh Hoshana... I always blame the lack of quality ingredients and my barely equipped kitchen as an excuse why my cooking experiments don't work out... this is probably the best abroad challah I have made to date - could use a little more flavor, but over all nice consistancy.
I ditched the old challah recipe I had (sorry mom) and found a new one online at one of my favorite blogs: http://smittenkitchen.com/2008/09/best-challah-egg-bread/. I tried to follow it the best I could given lack of any proper measuring apparatuses...
It turned out pretty well even though I burnt the top a bit because I had to flip it over last minute...that's what happens when there is just two heat settings on the stove: off and flames.

Maní Japones

This is my new favorite snack - salty morsels of peanuty goodness, Maní Japones, or Japanese Peanuts. What makes them Japanese you ask? Nada, but they are addictively delicious.

To The End of the Line

Line at Starbucks Alto Palermo that stretches out the door and curves around the block - I'm guessing an hour wait just to order. Also note that there are probably 20 other places to get good coffee within a 2 minute radius.

If there is a line out the door, it must be for something amazing, right? Opening night for a huge summer blockbuster, a celebrity book signing, Black Friday sales - totally hellish sounding to me, but I get it... now how about standing in line for a half an hour for coffee, lunch at a "trendy" restaurant when there are a million other restaurants with no wait, bus when there is a subway station 4 blocks away... It seems to me that people factor in waiting-in-line-time as part of the activity time.

The anomaly of the Argentina Line, as I like to call it, continues to baffle me... it's as if people seek out the longest line and get in the back of it, thinking maybe someone will give them 100 pesos once they get to the front.

My theory is that people are so accustomed to waiting in line from the lack of organization, they are used to things being difficult to obtain - so a mere 45 minutes is worth the wait. Some other examples of line waiting include:

1. Renewing of tourist visa - camping overnight just so one can renew her tourist visa all due a two week closing of the immigration office due to rain
2. Friday afternoon bank/ATM machine
3. 7pm Rush hour at the grocery store - I'm not exactly sure what Pago Facil is, but I always get stuck behind an old woman trying to use it when the sign at the cash register clearly says they are unable to use it
   
4. Anything government oriented
5. Retrieving movie tickets even though tickets already bought online - no distinct lines between those with tickets, and those who are trying to purchase them.
   

Fatal Accident in Flores: 2 People Dead, and a Bolivian

Here's a prime example of the quality investigative journalism from my favorite source for all news Argentina, Cronica TV (click for past segments). For those of you who don't speak Spanish, the headline reads: FATAL ACCIDENT IN FLORES (neighborhood in BA) TWO PEOPLE DEAD, AND A BOLIVIAN. Now correct me if I'm wrong, and maybe this is a stupid question, but wouldn't that make it 3 people dead?

If you think this may be a SNL-like spoof, you have been mistaken! This is a prime example of the format and content of the headlines... it's like one completely politically incorrect person got together with all their despicable sleazeball counterparts and said, "We gotta start a news channel!" And they did.

You're so corny...

Short, curly, black hairs...

There are some advantages of living on the bottom floor of a 10- story apartment building. If there is ever a fire, you are first to leave. Also, there's no buzzer system, so I have to manually open the door for people when they come/go - this would be very annoying if I didn't live on the bottom floor. I have two patios - one with a lovely plant, the other to hang all my laundry. Those are about the only good things... on the downside there isn't the greatest amount of natural light (it is ALWAYS night time), little critters (fire ants, cucarachas, spiders) tend to hang around the bottom floor, and whatever junk the people throw out their windows goes directly onto my patios... normally it is just cigarette butts, food wrappers - but yesterday someone threw a fun toy for Cholita to play with...

Close up...What do you think this is?

Perfectly cooked delicious homemade pizza can even be made with the world's worst oven

This is how you turn on my oven:
1. light a match
2. stick your hand into the gas chamber while simultaneously holding down the dial on the top of the stove
3. close your eyes otherwise the gas will burn them off
4. re-do steps 1-3 because the inflamed match is about to inflame your finger
5. "
6. Once the oven is lit (little flame) hold down the dial for 5 minutes and wait for the big flame
7. Repeat 1-5 because you take your hand off the dial prematurelyMy oven has two temperatures, FULL BLAST FLAMES and OFF. In the 4 months that I've lived in this apartment, I have only used the oven once and made a royal mess of a lasagna...but the other night I was in the mood for pizza so I thought I'd give it a shot...Success! Probably the best pizza I have had in months. This does not say much as pizza for porteños means soggy tasteless bread with mounds of cheese and extra grease toppings.
This pizza has fresh mozarella, basil, tomatoes and roasted red and yellow peppers. It's no deep dish from Piero's....

Argentine bank now grants loans to people who used to have a penis but now they don't

Here is this new television advertisement for Banco Provincia, a popular bank in Argentina starring a middle aged transgendered woman.

Kilos in Uruguay

A few weeks ago I took a short vacation to the beaches along the coast in Uruguay. Instead of posting pictures of the clear waters of the Atlantic, quaint fisherman villages, and beautiful countryside - I decided to show the important stuff: the food! My goal was to take a picture of everything that I ate - but unfortunately the extremely laid back attitude and slow service made it difficult to snap a shot before I inhaled the entire plate.

Mercado en Montevideo

Bife de chorizo con papas y verduras grilladas

Paella

Breakfast on the ocean

Shrimp al ajillo - this one was dangerous for my stomach...

Fried Calamari rrrrabas

Lube Center

Cholita

Cats are creepy. They are always up to no good.. biting, scratching, terrorizing, scheming. I never understood "cat" people... until I got my little Chola (Cholita). Who could resist an adorable little kitty?

Cholita Starring in Gremlins VI

Buenos Aires invaded

Here is a recent article written by the people at Gawker.com, "Buenos Aires Ruined by I-Bankers."
If you ever idly considered going to Buenos Aires to enjoy its humid subtropical climate, tango music, and world famous zoo, just forget it. The entire city is now populated by laid-off American bankers.

Apparently a visit to the Teatro Colon or a sightseeing stroll over to Pablo Neruda's old house is now indistinguishable from a night at Bar Martignetti. Spencer Morgan's weekly NYO profile of a quirkily enraging Manhattanite today introduces us to David Webb: former Goldman analyst, current chisel-jawed male model, Ivy League tennis star, and media party crashing friend of Neel Shah. David hopped on down to Buenos Aires for a couple weeks to just clear his head and shit, and what did he find? People exactly like himself:

"You'd start the day at a park and then run into five former bankers, and then you'd wind up at a bar and all of a sudden there would be 15 of them," Mr. Webb said. "Ex-bankers, ex-traders, Lehman guys, Bear guys, everyone. Guys that got screwed by their job and came to a place where everything was cheap. It's fuckin' beautiful and the sun was going down at 9:30."

If Juan Diaz de Solis would have known this was gonna happen back in 1516, he would have turned around and gone right back up the Rio de la Plata and left the whole mess to the native Charrua tribe. They hate bankers. (But they love male models!)
http://gawker.com/5164142/buenos-aires-ruined-by-i+bankers

In related news, this video was featured in a Clarin article (the most widely read newspaper) about "Stories of US Expats who Fled to Argentina because of the Economic Crisis" seems like a perfect accompaniment.
http://www.clarin.com/diario/2009/03/21/um/m-01881483.htm (in Spanish)

Hamburguesas

I'm really hungry for a nice juicy hamburger, I think I'll have a Barfy!

Crónica TV

My all time favorite channel, Crónica TV, is a 24/7 "news" channel that never fails to entertain. It's like Fox News teamed up with TMZ and the Jerry Springer Show to broadcast the latest breaking news complete with theme songs, racist jokes, inappropriate sound effects, graphic footage of accidents and of course, lots of partially nude females.

My favorite segment is "Estallo el Verano" where reporters go to popular summer hot spots in Argentina and interview the sunbathers asking them the most crucial questions like if they use sunscreen.





Here's another great example of how Cronica TV investigates the important issues. For those who don't speak Spanish, this is the gist of what's going on: The story is about how Chinese people are catching birds in the park and selling them. The reporter asks investigative questions like "Do you eat the birds?"



Finally, the last one I found is a bit bloody so I don't recommend this for those who have a weak stomach. Briefly, man on motorcycle gets in an accident, breaks his neck along with several other body parts, but still is able to give a full interview while lying on his back in the middle of the street.

"Oh! That's Argentina"

I came to BsAs in 2006 and was instantly drawn to Porteño culture. I wasn't so intrigued by the seductive dance of the tango, the thriving café culture, or the European influenced architecture - instead I was fascinated to find out more about the gripping questions that seemed essential to understanding Argentine society: How can Porteños shop so much on the salaries they make? Why has the mullet been a trendy hairstyle for both men and women for over 20 years? Why on earth are flower shops open 24 hours a day, but you can't find even an empanada past 2am?

My attempt to immerse myself into this culture left me more confused than ever as I have come to the conclusion that there is no rhyme or reason to this ridiculously magnificent country.

I had to find a way to document some of the daily occurrences that are unexplainable to anyone who has never traveled to this glorious place. Although "Blogs" are totally not my thing (yes, I just put the word blog in quotation marks) I found it's the only way to share the reasons why I love this South American country.


Photo of la Presidenta Cristina Kirchner with her lovely husband, (aka el penguino "the Penguin"), ex-Presidente Néstor.